Pictures in Water - Beauty or Danger?

Yes, you have it all
But you are not quite there yet
Pathways,clean lighted
Food
Bridge, softly lit
Looked over, vastness
Blackness, yet much beauty
Pictures of flowers
In motion
One thing of beauty to the next
But beneath, depth, darkness
Wish my lover was here
Beauty or Danger?

He was never present

Water in a locker room
Nakedness
Man from Nepal
Yes, No
Luring him
Walking up the stairs
Seeking Protection
Trying to gain assurance of intimacy
Looking for him, Searching
Could not find
But then he left
He was never present for me!

Amidst Roller Coasters and Candy Stores

We met amidst roller coasters and candy stores.
Roller coaster rides are fun until you realize
you can't get off them!

How much candy can you have?
How much is too much?
What does it do for you?
Does it comfort you?

It was love at first sight for me
For him? Ahh...should I say or
should I let him say?
He said it, one and a half years later
When all is said and done.

Here I am, feeling nostalgic
Re-living what I wish was otherwise
When morning comes
All I will remember are little fragments
Somewhere amidst the fragments,
presence of the life force, you have it
And I have it too.

	Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Vision

What do you do when you cannot see?
Even the most expensive pair of glasses do not help
The best optician in town gives up hope
Now what?

The dark clouds
The roaring waves
Thunder, storms

Ahhh...I cannot take shelter in my tower
Even that has collapsed
I have lost my vision
I cannot see

Where do I go?

Unit 10 - Thank You All!

In unit 3 for psychological well-being, it was 5.5, spiritual well-being it was, 6 and physical well-being, 5. Let's see, now I would rate my psychological well-being as 6, spiritual well-being, 6.5 and physical well-being, 5.5. Yes, the scores have improved by .5, I think my progress is very slow but I would rather it be this way then shooting up all the way to the top without much substance. I would to be able to withstand the storm when it comes.

I think my scores have changed mainly due to lots of planning, thinking, praying and quiet time. I did mention in unit 3 that I would like to start off with doing some stretches so as to help my physical well-being and this is something I have been doing. I would like to be a bit more regular but again, at least I have started. I have also started on meditation and I make it a part of whatever I do such as eating without the TV on and also sitting down in silence. Instead of reading positive affirmations, I have been reading other information; just about anything to help broaden my horizons which helps, I think it serves as pleasant diversion. Though I think I must work on starting to read positive affirmations.

This course has been made want to spend more time with myself, it has also helped me to face truths about various situations in my life. In dealing with others, I have noticed that I am more detached yet compassionate. Reading the experiences of others has been rewarding. What has been difficult is picking up myself, the amount of work it takes can be painful but then I believe in , "slowly but surely". I think the experiences I have gone through plus all this knowledge that I have accumulated will be put to good use in the next second, minute, month, year...whoever and whatever that comes my way will benefit. And I will benefit too, simply because it is a cycle.

Thank you all for helping and encouraging me with your great works and experiences:)

Unit 9 Project

Hw 420 03 unit 9 final project

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Subtle Mind comforts me but Loving-Kindness prunes me!

Let's see, I must say I really like the subtle mind exercise and I have no trouble getting into it and being focused, it relaxes me, there is no pressure involved and I do not have to use too much mind power.

Loving-kindness practice makes me work, it is really reaching into the depths and letting go and letting love in.

I will use both practices in my personal life to foster "mental fitness". For subtle mind, I will use it when I have endless chatter in my mind and the way I would do this, is to set aside a space for me probably on a nice pretty carpet with warm lights and some cushions and there I would spend time being quiet and practicing the subtle mind exercise.

The Loving-kindness practice would be done at the same place where I would be spend time each day thinking about the ones that I love, the ones who were not so nice to me that day, and include the one who have not be so great to me in previous times and then a larger group such as victims of domestic violence, homeless children etc and let the love flow...

Eyes

When I met you
I looked into your eyes
What was I seeing?
Love, passion, beauty, laughter...?
Or was it my own refection

Did you see the same in my eyes?
What did you see?
I would like to know

Tell me when you have the time
When you reach the point of pointlessness
I would like to hear of your reflection
when you looked into my eyes

Perhaps we might then share the same depth
Clarity comes through nakedness
How can you see when you are fully clothed
Covered by the outer so that you can hide the inner

I would like to see the inner,
I hope someday you would invite me...

Meeting Ascepius and "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself"

Meeting Asciepius by far was one of the most wonderful exercises I have done and I think this is mainly due to the fact that I always think about this person and I call this person, "Uncle Anthony Yeo", a mentor, a father-figure and someone who has loved me unconditionally for the last 16 years of my life. I lost him to Leukaemia in 2009. I felt that it was so easy to think about him and visualize the light and all. I often get dreams about him which further enhances my meditative practice. I think that through my meditative practice I get the chance to be quiet and understand my own feelings, becoming aware of them always helps so that emtions that are negative do not get out of hand and when they do not get out of hand, it helps me psychologically because then I do not have to deal with more baggage lol!

Continuing with meditative practices is really a matter of discipline. First of all, one has to belive that it helps and only when there exist such strong beliefs will one make the time for meditation. So, for me, it is a matter of making the time no matter how painful and overwhelming dalily events can sometimes be.

Well, well, I think it is about “talking the talk but not walking the walk” is quite similar to “One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself”. For example, how can Suzanna tell Esther to be a team player when Suzanna herself goes around gosipping about other team members! See what I mean? It is about practicing what one preaches. As a health and wellness professional, I must uphold to the standards that I would like for my clients to be at; for instance, if I tell my students to dance without a mirror so that they can feel every movement and not be distracted by their own image, then I must do so similarly. If I do so otherwise, then my students will not truly know what it is like to feel every movement because I would not be able to describe or demonstrate to them with all that is within me because to begin with I never did it myself.

For me, at this point of my life, psychological and spiritual growth comes when I have a plan, setting goals to accomplish my plan. Ways for me to help myself psychologically and spiritually is, first of all, do not stretch myself too much, see to the completion of projects that are already on my plate. Plan, plan, plan but allow flexibility. Most of all, prayer...

Universal Loving Kindness and Integral Assessment

As I was practiving the universal loving kindness, what kept coming to my mind, is me wanting to be part of a huge team effort that supports human rights, somthing that I have always wanted to so. Besides, I have always been in the human services industry. This exercise only reinstated what lies deep within me; I need to extend help to those who deserve it, need it but often find it hard to stand up for themselves.

Looking at myself at this point, I think the area that needs the most work is psychospiritual. If I can bring peace within my soul then my biological struggles (meaning illness) will not be as bothersome. I will not have to worry of I am going to die just like my dad. Infact the truth is, I am not afraid of death at this point, I am hurt by how others have viewed my illness. So if I can come to a point of being comfortable under my own skin then everything else will fall into place because at that point of time, I would be at peace within, I would feel one with everything that surrounds me.

Specfic exercises of things that I can foster psychospiritual development within me;
-positive affirmations on a daily basis when I am at a relaxed state
-Move out of state to be on my own, see the beauty that surrounds me
-Be open to the ones who are closest to me, being honest about how I feel
-listen to calming music daily
-prayer that my lawsuit will end so that I can move on

These are really what is important for me because I find myself being caught between the past, the present and the future and my only solace is accessing my inner self and my communication with the higher one.

Second Best

Little girl ran up to her mommy and said
"mommy, mommy, look I got 86/100 for math"
Mommy said, "that's good but did you see your brother's score?
He got 98/100,."

Lady, went up to her husband and said,
"honey, I prepared your favorite dish
you joining me at the table for dinner?"
Hubby replied, "Ahhh...I got my game on,
will join you later"

Woman in pain, asked her hubby
"please come, lay beside me"
Hubby asked, "why?"
Woman, sobbed...

Times passes by

Man comes along, sees this beautiful lady
asks her out, she goes out
Then the real struggles came, she reached out
He backed away, his thoughts dwelling on another
Beautiful lady, remains a friend
One day, man tells her he bought his beloved a diamond ring
Beautiful lady smiles at her own nakedness
Beautiful lady cries, wounded by love's own flames

....always second best....

You plant the seeds
You water the plant everyday
You talk to it, you nurture it
Flowers bloom,
Fruits become visible


I have started to plant my seeds
....let me fetch my own water from the well...

Mental Fitness Unit 5 Project

Hi all, here is my unit 5 project. At first I did not know how to upload my presentation but a good friend of mine in Singapore taught me how. Enjoy the presentation.

Hw420 03 philipsugumaran unit 5 project

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Subtle Mind

I enjoyed the subtle mind practice versus the loving-kindness practice. I think it is because I found so much comfort in not having to force myself to think about anything. It was easier to calm my mind by not thinking. The loving kindness practice called for more discipline on my part, where I had to stop thoughts such as ahh...what is going to happen with my job, when should I relocate to thoughts of loving kindness to self, a person who is unwell, strangers and then to all living beings...you see I have to think, there is intention which means forcing my mind, there is conscious intention. With all the chaotic thoughts taking up space in my head, the subtle mind kind of gave me a break:)

When I am spiritually well, I find that there is an endless flow of strength for me to engage in activities that I like or require my attention. I do not have to force myself. On the other hand, when I am spiritually unwell, even getting out of bed is a task. In simple term, feeling spiritually well to me means that I am ok, my presence is needed in this universe, I see the bigger purpose and when I am in this state of mind anything that I do turns out to have a postive outcome and when I see the positive outcome I feel great physically, emotionally and mentally.

Loving Kindness

The loving kindness practice for me was kind of an interesting one. I say this because I do find the instructions helpful on the other hand I found it rather disruptive especially when I am beginning to enjoy the sound of the waves. However, the sound of the waves was kind of artificial too, it was repetitive the same sounds, very fake. I think this is the case as I am used to listening to music that has no interruptions which helps me focus better. I must say that the method of practive that is focusing on your loved one, sick one, strangers and all living beings including enemies is a rather complex one and one that is very hard to do and at times I found it hard because I am still angry with some people. I think practice and time will certainly help.

The concept of "mental workout" is basically training your mind, being contemplative, feeding it with positive thoughts even when it is difficult. Research indicates that mental workout leads to gaining wisdom, peace, compassion, happiness and wholeness. Through time, we create an inner haven within oursleves, a place that we will want to keep coming back to however it takes perseverance. Spending time in contemplative practice on a daily basis perhaps twice a day through meditation where I repeat postive affirmations to myself with each breath can foster psychological health for me.

References
Dacher, E.S. (2006). Psychospiritual Flourishing, Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing.
Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publication, Inc.

Ballerina

Two friends, Layla and Shyla
Talking, laughing, website designs
Drinks, parties, sweets, laptop and then

Layla asked Shyla
So, what about him?
Shyla said, I let him go
Layla asked, why?

Shyla with a twinkle in her eye...

I planted the flowers they were pretty but not enough
The flowers next door were gorgeous

Everyday I walked up the hill, barefoot
To be with my beloved, in my brokeness
When I got tired, I tried to hold his hand so I will not fall
Ahhh...but I forget, he is already up the hill, looking down at me
One day, I fell while walking up the hill
I started to crawl, I became hungry and thirsty
Perhaps my beloved would come to get me
I crawled till my palms bled and my knees bruised
My beloved did not come

In my brokeness, I cannot cage a bird that wants to fly
In my brokeness, I still want to hear the bird sing
If not near, from afar
At least I can still dance when I hear the music

I am the ballerina who bows out gracefully after the dance...
So tell me, did I do my turns right?
How was my foot work?
Will you clap for me?

My Wellness and Experience with Rainbow meditation

Let's see on a scale of 1-10 for my physical well-being, I would be 5, spiritual well-being 6 and psychological well-being 5.5. Yes, they do not look great at all and I would like for these numbers to change. On the physical level, I have been going through some struggles medically though I do think that this is about to improve soon. Have been on medication that has caused some liver problems but my doctors has discontinued this. For Spiritual well-being, I am struggling with a bit of a depression and am having a hard time trusting the superior one, it is coming back since I have started meditation and prayer again. For my psychological well-being, when things are not as great as they are, it is hard to convince myself otherwise which is exactly what I am going through; negative thoughts.

I have thought about goals for each of these areas and so here it is:-
Physical well-being: I would like to let my body heal and start doing stretches and slowly and slowly get back deeper into dancing.
Spiritual well-being: I would like to spend 15-30 minutes each day in prayer and meditation.
Psychological well-being: I would like to spend at least 15 minutes each day reading literature, quotes that are postive to counter the negative thoughts in my mind.

Exercise that can benefit my physical well-being at this point would be vinyasa yoga, I just love the flow and belly dancing, helps with creativity and ultimately makes my body healthy.
As for spiritual well-being, my meditation would be focusing on my breath and I do like focusing on all my chakras.
For psychological well-being, I love literature such as Rumi, Khalil Gibran and I am open to others as well.

I absolutely enjoyed the rainbow meditation, it made me feel very calm and relaxed. I would like to use this on a daily basis as part of my meditation exercise. It was nice to not have to answer the phone. I think I would benefit from doing this on a daily basis simply because I do like the idea of chakra meditation.

My Experience with the Journey Exercise

Hi there
I would like to say that it brought me back to the times where I used to meditate on a frequent basis. At times during the process I wanted to cry simply because I recalled the times when I was much more dedicated to the practice of meditation and then being the current state I am there has been too much pain, law suit, breaching of medical information, sexual harassment, hostile work environment, they are all too overwhelming and I find it hard to get away from it all.

This meditation experience reminded me that it does not have to be the circumstances but I can set aside 15 minutes each day no matter how bad things are....and those 15 minutes might be helping my body organs for a long long time.

Welcome to My Blog

Hi Professor and Classmates of HW420
Welcome to my blog.
I know I have written stuff in here that make some go like, what??:) But please free to comment and have fun:)

You gave me away

I sit and watch the smiles
I hear the laughter
sometimes it is from me
laughing not at another but me

laughter changes to tears
I wonder what my four walls would say to me
about my tears if they could talk
Would they be tired too, just like everyone else
just like the one I loved the most
just like the one who hurt me me most

I watch children
Watching them smile at me
eases my pain of shattered dreams
holding them, gives me the tenderness and warmth
I so long for each night
the same tenderness and warmth I have been longing for

But then I have to walk away
As nothing is mine
Nothing was ever mine
Not even my own emotions

I gave my all, I traveled round the world
just to give you my all
But you gave me away
I gave me away

You say you long for love
Love was there
Right there beside you
Greeting you every morning
Calling on you every afternoon
Waiting for you every night
And crying each time you went out of sight

You gave it away
You gave me away