I feel that this would be my last chance to share something about me with all of you, wonderful writers besides when I receive your replies or if I do, I will know that those responses were well thought out as writing helps to clarify one's thoughts.
The last few months have been very painful for me, my marriage was on the rocks and at this point we both would like to give it a try. I still do feel very hurt and emotionally withdrawn especially from those who once told me that I am part of the family, "my husband's family". It was not true of course. It has brought me so much pain an distress and everytime I think about what happened I feel hurt at my own understanding of love. Perhaps I have painted such a beautiful picture of love, trust, friendship only to be told the truth that it does not exist. Or does it?
The good thing is I am able to smile again, there are wonderful people I have met previously or recently that have brightened my life. I am doing really well at my job and absolutely loving it. However, I feel this battle deep within me, to trust or not to trust again. How many chances to you give someone, one, two , three or seventy times seven like the Bible says?
I smile when I think about myself as being very passionate, intense and seeking likewise experiences in everything I do. I have not been disappointed in many areas but in love, I felt I have failed. How do I trust again? I can't love and be bitter at the same time and I do not know which path to take. I know which path I would like to take but will I be hurt again?
Thank you all:)