Sunday, December 19, 2010

Universal Loving Kindness and Integral Assessment

As I was practiving the universal loving kindness, what kept coming to my mind, is me wanting to be part of a huge team effort that supports human rights, somthing that I have always wanted to so. Besides, I have always been in the human services industry. This exercise only reinstated what lies deep within me; I need to extend help to those who deserve it, need it but often find it hard to stand up for themselves.

Looking at myself at this point, I think the area that needs the most work is psychospiritual. If I can bring peace within my soul then my biological struggles (meaning illness) will not be as bothersome. I will not have to worry of I am going to die just like my dad. Infact the truth is, I am not afraid of death at this point, I am hurt by how others have viewed my illness. So if I can come to a point of being comfortable under my own skin then everything else will fall into place because at that point of time, I would be at peace within, I would feel one with everything that surrounds me.

Specfic exercises of things that I can foster psychospiritual development within me;
-positive affirmations on a daily basis when I am at a relaxed state
-Move out of state to be on my own, see the beauty that surrounds me
-Be open to the ones who are closest to me, being honest about how I feel
-listen to calming music daily
-prayer that my lawsuit will end so that I can move on

These are really what is important for me because I find myself being caught between the past, the present and the future and my only solace is accessing my inner self and my communication with the higher one.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Second Best

Little girl ran up to her mommy and said
"mommy, mommy, look I got 86/100 for math"
Mommy said, "that's good but did you see your brother's score?
He got 98/100,."

Lady, went up to her husband and said,
"honey, I prepared your favorite dish
you joining me at the table for dinner?"
Hubby replied, "Ahhh...I got my game on,
will join you later"

Woman in pain, asked her hubby
"please come, lay beside me"
Hubby asked, "why?"
Woman, sobbed...

Times passes by

Man comes along, sees this beautiful lady
asks her out, she goes out
Then the real struggles came, she reached out
He backed away, his thoughts dwelling on another
Beautiful lady, remains a friend
One day, man tells her he bought his beloved a diamond ring
Beautiful lady smiles at her own nakedness
Beautiful lady cries, wounded by love's own flames

....always second best....

You plant the seeds
You water the plant everyday
You talk to it, you nurture it
Flowers bloom,
Fruits become visible

I have started to plant my seeds
....let me fetch my own water from the well...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Mental Fitness Unit 5 Project

Hi all, here is my unit 5 project. At first I did not know how to upload my presentation but a good friend of mine in Singapore taught me how. Enjoy the presentation.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Subtle Mind

I enjoyed the subtle mind practice versus the loving-kindness practice. I think it is because I found so much comfort in not having to force myself to think about anything. It was easier to calm my mind by not thinking. The loving kindness practice called for more discipline on my part, where I had to stop thoughts such as ahh...what is going to happen with my job, when should I relocate to thoughts of loving kindness to self, a person who is unwell, strangers and then to all living see I have to think, there is intention which means forcing my mind, there is conscious intention. With all the chaotic thoughts taking up space in my head, the subtle mind kind of gave me a break:)

When I am spiritually well, I find that there is an endless flow of strength for me to engage in activities that I like or require my attention. I do not have to force myself. On the other hand, when I am spiritually unwell, even getting out of bed is a task. In simple term, feeling spiritually well to me means that I am ok, my presence is needed in this universe, I see the bigger purpose and when I am in this state of mind anything that I do turns out to have a postive outcome and when I see the positive outcome I feel great physically, emotionally and mentally.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Loving Kindness

The loving kindness practice for me was kind of an interesting one. I say this because I do find the instructions helpful on the other hand I found it rather disruptive especially when I am beginning to enjoy the sound of the waves. However, the sound of the waves was kind of artificial too, it was repetitive the same sounds, very fake. I think this is the case as I am used to listening to music that has no interruptions which helps me focus better. I must say that the method of practive that is focusing on your loved one, sick one, strangers and all living beings including enemies is a rather complex one and one that is very hard to do and at times I found it hard because I am still angry with some people. I think practice and time will certainly help.

The concept of "mental workout" is basically training your mind, being contemplative, feeding it with positive thoughts even when it is difficult. Research indicates that mental workout leads to gaining wisdom, peace, compassion, happiness and wholeness. Through time, we create an inner haven within oursleves, a place that we will want to keep coming back to however it takes perseverance. Spending time in contemplative practice on a daily basis perhaps twice a day through meditation where I repeat postive affirmations to myself with each breath can foster psychological health for me.

Dacher, E.S. (2006). Psychospiritual Flourishing, Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing.
Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publication, Inc.

Friday, December 3, 2010


Two friends, Layla and Shyla
Talking, laughing, website designs
Drinks, parties, sweets, laptop and then

Layla asked Shyla
So, what about him?
Shyla said, I let him go
Layla asked, why?

Shyla with a twinkle in her eye...

I planted the flowers they were pretty but not enough
The flowers next door were gorgeous

Everyday I walked up the hill, barefoot
To be with my beloved, in my brokeness
When I got tired, I tried to hold his hand so I will not fall
Ahhh...but I forget, he is already up the hill, looking down at me
One day, I fell while walking up the hill
I started to crawl, I became hungry and thirsty
Perhaps my beloved would come to get me
I crawled till my palms bled and my knees bruised
My beloved did not come

In my brokeness, I cannot cage a bird that wants to fly
In my brokeness, I still want to hear the bird sing
If not near, from afar
At least I can still dance when I hear the music

I am the ballerina who bows out gracefully after the dance...
So tell me, did I do my turns right?
How was my foot work?
Will you clap for me?