Welcome to My Blog

Hi Professor and Classmates of HW420
Welcome to my blog.
I know I have written stuff in here that make some go like, what??:) But please free to comment and have fun:)

You gave me away

I sit and watch the smiles
I hear the laughter
sometimes it is from me
laughing not at another but me

laughter changes to tears
I wonder what my four walls would say to me
about my tears if they could talk
Would they be tired too, just like everyone else
just like the one I loved the most
just like the one who hurt me me most

I watch children
Watching them smile at me
eases my pain of shattered dreams
holding them, gives me the tenderness and warmth
I so long for each night
the same tenderness and warmth I have been longing for

But then I have to walk away
As nothing is mine
Nothing was ever mine
Not even my own emotions

I gave my all, I traveled round the world
just to give you my all
But you gave me away
I gave me away

You say you long for love
Love was there
Right there beside you
Greeting you every morning
Calling on you every afternoon
Waiting for you every night
And crying each time you went out of sight

You gave it away
You gave me away

One writes, the other says

I told him that we were never friends when we started
So he writes to me and tells me that I was always his friend
I ask if he could be mine and he said that he does not want to
which means...he was never my friend to begin with......I cry as I think about this
I have lost so much and sometimes I wonder if I ever gained anything in the 1st place

The other tell me that I give and I give alot, I'm a giver
He is at a slower pace
He said if he does not repond I should understand that he is in an awkward situation

Ah....so much pain involved in showering someone with love
Perhaps one day, i will reach a point where I won't want to give anymore
As there are more takers present than givers

I am so hurt
I have been hurting for so long
I wish I could just disappear

I ask myself these days if love is even worth it anymore
affection, tenderness, are all these real or just a passing moment
If it is a passing moment, then let it just pass and not stop for me
so that I do not have to live with the pain when it is gone

So much in so little time

He said that I showed him so much in so little time
That he would never forget me for that
Apologies after apologies for the pain and hurt caused to us, our families and friends

I smile as I hear of his accomplishments
I was right, he'd do so much better without me
I wanted to see him shine
and shine brightly
I see this now and it brings me much happiness

He's being offered to travel the continents
I smile and say, perhaps now you will meet the one that is truly meant to be for you
He chuckles, saying it is impossible
I said, when love comes, don't let her go, not this time

He tells me he misses the intimacy, the kisses, the passion
Tears well up in my eyes, I do too, I miss the hope I once had, wounded by my own understanding of love
I still see the goodness in him
Two wonderful people shining brightly but apart
I'd rather he shine brightly while apart then be hurt in my presence

I wish nothing but love upon him and tons of tenderness
I see a broken soul in him too
For it takes one to know another.

Tearing yet smiling

It is probably a good thing that no one will ever get to read this and even if they do, it is better they do not know me.

Why, I was the one always with the lamp and the fire
helping the other
pursuing the other shamelessly

Then, I lay the bed
I set the night,
I make the music
and I light the fire

I run out of wood, no more fuel
No one present to offer me half of what I gave
I have nothing left
Those who said they would stay
have long gone when I could not light the fire

Here I am, looking over and seeing
the remains of nothing
Yet, still in search
I see a flame in the distance
I walk, no matter how long it takes
I think I am reaching
I have reached
But it is gone

Gone elsewhere, to set the night for another...
I smile, tearing

Passion

Hi All
I feel that this would be my last chance to share something about me with all of you, wonderful writers besides when I receive your replies or if I do, I will know that those responses were well thought out as writing helps to clarify one's thoughts.

The last few months have been very painful for me, my marriage was on the rocks and at this point we both would like to give it a try. I still do feel very hurt and emotionally withdrawn especially from those who once told me that I am part of the family, "my husband's family". It was not true of course. It has brought me so much pain an distress and everytime I think about what happened I feel hurt at my own understanding of love. Perhaps I have painted such a beautiful picture of love, trust, friendship only to be told the truth that it does not exist. Or does it?

The good thing is I am able to smile again, there are wonderful people I have met previously or recently that have brightened my life. I am doing really well at my job and absolutely loving it. However, I feel this battle deep within me, to trust or not to trust again. How many chances to you give someone, one, two , three or seventy times seven like the Bible says?

I smile when I think about myself as being very passionate, intense and seeking likewise experiences in everything I do. I have not been disappointed in many areas but in love, I felt I have failed. How do I trust again? I can't love and be bitter at the same time and I do not know which path to take. I know which path I would like to take but will I be hurt again?

Thank you all:)

My Paper, Almost Done

I honestly cannot wait to see the final product. I am also excited about letting different readers read my paper. They are going to be outsiders, one of them will be my boss another, my co-worker. It would be interesting to hear what others have to say about its content, grammatical usage and the topic on the whole.

I feel that the writing process can be a rather tedious procedure especially if you have never been exposed to the different techniques. However, once adopt and utilize these techniques accordingly, it makes you feel like a skilled writer. I want to use the word an "expert".

Having gone through the writing process, I would like to say that I felt a mixture of frustration and joy at times. Frustration, when you feel like you have worked so hard and yet be made known to you that your paper is not good enough. Joy, when I took those very same ideas that people were not receptive to and revised, modified, whatever you would want to call it but ultimately resulting in readers being more receptive this time.

I have come to realise that it is all about the reader. You basically have to cater to your readers. Therefore, write what you think will be well received by your targeted audience.

Best of Luck to All of You for the Finals! All of you have worked very hard and I hope that you do really well:)